Two Months Later

So I'm a college student now.. give me a break. Oh who am I kidding, I'm just a slacker. I have plenty of college friends who manage awesome blogs and I just put it off forever and end up writing posts every couple months. Yikes.

Life at college is so wonderful. Yes it's hard and I haven't had many healthy home-cooked meals. At all. And yes I stay up much later and have to cook, brush my teeth and wash my dishes all in the same sink. And my room is always hot and sometimes has an odor. But my gosh, I wouldn't trade where I am for anything. I am learning and growing and the Lord is blessing me over and over again. All summer I prayed for a strong group of girl friends to come my way and college and the Lord is so faithful and has blessed me with more precious friends that I could have ever imagined. He's placed groups like my bible study group and the church I've started going to in my life and I'm being filled. The first couple weeks of school were so busy and I hadn't found a church where I felt like I belonged and man I was thirsty. Thirstier than I have been in a very long time. God has just shown me over and over since I've been at school that He is kind and He wants me to know His love and His kindness. Man, He's good. College is good. Life is beautiful.

More to come (I promise).

Lasts

So I leave for college this coming Friday. So crazy, my gosh. As time gets shorter and the days closer, I'm experiencing a lot of lasts. My last Disciple Now (youth group retreat), my last Sunday at the church I've grown up both physically and spiritually the last fourteen years, my last youth event as a student. But the awesome and encouraging thing is it isn't goodbye, merely see you later.

This is just a new chapter of my life.
I think I'm ready.

How Great He Is

Goodness I can't get over how much Jesus STILL loves me when I'm frustrated and covered in sin and don't make the time to sit and talk with Him. That He STILL pursues me and woos me to His presence. That I can still be Confident and Radiant and WHOLE in His presence. Man, there is so greater God and I can't even comprehend great his love is for ME. Thank you Jesus.

Mmmm to rest in His presence is more delightful than anything of this world.

What God is Teaching Me

This summer has been one full of adventure but with the adventures I have had, God has been teaching me over and over to be humble. And I don't just me the sweet person humble. I'm talkin' biblical humbleness: that NOTHING I do if for my own glory. That my works don't make an ounce of difference in how God sees me. I like to think that I don't have a pride issue but obviously I do because every time I think I will get even a tiny amount of glory from something I've done (today it was being interviewed by the local news for our S.A.V.E. 5k- S.A.V.E. is a whole different blog post in itself) He takes the glory away from me (my part of the interview being cut). I know that's a silly thing and although it stinks I'm so thankful that God would keep reminding me and disciplining me to know that everything I do should bring glory to HIM: NOT TO MYSELF. God is so good. All the time He is good.

Less Than One Month

I decided to start this blog about a year ago so that I could write about my senior year and then proceed to write about my upcoming years of college.. And I barely wrote my senior year. At all. But it's never to late to start right?! Especially since I am t-minus 27 DAYS away from moving into my dorm! THIS IS INSANE. I want to be alright, to feel content in who I am before I head off on this adventure and lately this has been a dreadful task. I don't want to worry about fitting in and not being enough anymore. I AM enough. I am completely WHOLE in Jesus Christ and I can laugh at the days to come because He has already won. He is stronger than any of my doubts, worries and fears. He already has friends and passions and adventures laid out for my on campus. He knows the life were going to walk together through the next four years (and I'm sure he already knows how often he's going to have to pick me up and carry me). I'm ready for this moment even though most of the time I feel ready to go crawl under my bed and have a good cry. I can do this. I WILL do this. It's going to be the adventure of a lifetime. Here we go.


Also, I have found great encouragement in the song "Age of Worry" by John Mayer (Born and Raised). Here are the lyrics:


Close your eyes and close yourself
Danger hiding in all the world
Soothe your tears, your innocence
While you do everything wrong

Don't be scared to walk alone
Don't be scared to like it
There's no time that you must be home
So sleep where your darkness falls

Alive in the age of worry
Smile in the age of worry
Go wild in the age of worry
And sing Worry, why should I care?

No you fight is not within
Yours is with your timing
Dream your dreams but don't pretend
Be friends with what you are
Give your heart then change your mind
You're allowed to (throw) it
Cause God knows it's been done to you
And somehow you got through it

Alive in the age of worry
Rage in the age of worry
Sing out in the age of worry
And sing Worry, why should I care?

Rage in the age of worry
Act your age in the age of worry
And sing Worry, get out of here!


*Lyrics copied from Elyrics.net
**The bold phrases are those which have brought the most inspiration

Restarting

Why do I always feel like I have to start afresh? Today I have just been overcome with the realization that more stuff just never seems to be enough. All the new clothes I bought are now old and I don't feel like wearing them. Maybe a hair cut or getting my cartilage pierced or re-doing my room will fill that hole that's eating away at my heart... think again. What is this and why the heck do I never feel content with all the wonderful things I already have?! Why do I spend hours on the computer wishing I could have that outfit I saw on Pinterest or be as awesome as my friends appear to be on Facebook. I want to feel completely whole but it's quite difficult when the whole world is screaming at you that "YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH!!!!" I need the silence and peace of alone time in Christ. I need to remember that the ONLY way I will EVER feel whole is drawing close to Him. I need to be away somewhere alone with God. Maybe the mountains.. I feel a hike coming on soon...